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Turning Point of the Year at Autumn Equinox

Unquiet thoughts at the most beautiful of seasons

Turning points are times of change. It is Autumn, a time of profound change. A slowing down, a letting go and a time of releasing all that is outworn and used up.

Turning points are times of change. It is Autumn, a time of profound change. A slowing down, a letting go and a time of releasing all that is outworn and used up.

I wonder why I am finding this most beautiful season so uncomfortable this year. It is not just the thought of winter and the cold and dark. It is something more. An aching in my body, a spiritual ache. An emptiness, a chasm, a void.

If I could hear my body right now, it would echo like an empty tomb. I can hear the sound vibrating within. There is nothing left. I have released it all.

Grief, loss, fear, anxiety, sadness and loneliness. There are visages of them, fluttering like discarded old bits of cloth which are snagged on the barbed wire of the fortress I used to hide behind.

Tired of living behind the wire, I ventured out and found the wide open spaces to be terrifying. A blank canvas on which to paint the rest of my life, a clean page on which to write my dreams.

The problem being I have no dreams at the moment. I have no wishes or desires.

Just empty thoughts, empty mind, empty emotions.

I turn to the Tarot for guidance, for answers.

A Turning Point layout seems helpful.

I use the pendulum to decide which of my favourite decks to use. Only four came with me from the many decks I used to own. My oldest friend, The Medieval Deck by Susan Hudes (US Games Inc The Hudes Tarot) was chosen.

I ask the cards for their first message, the beginning of the reading, what do they say about this turning point of the year.

Unsurprisingly, it is the template, what I call the “wildcard”. I always keep the template cards in the deck as they are part of the whole and this one includes another beautiful image from the designer and artist Susan Hudes.

The template or wildcards are likened to the Wyrd Rune. It can be anything and it is everything.

The image is two cherubs lifting a veil. So the way is being shown for me. It is time to walk down the path of the ancestors. It is time to journey home.

Home – to where I am, to where my soul resides. Home to the place I feel safe.

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